The Temper Tantrums

I thought I would expand on the tantrum of the day comment. It gets a little involved.

My SO and I have been together for a while now, maybe 10 yrs? I'm not a person who can remember dates, except for tests.

Anyway until I retired from the military and moved back home, we had never really lived together. We lived together for three years at my last base in military housing, but I worked and only saw him on the weekends and at night. You kind of just ignore things because you are too busy getting ready for the next day back in the trenches. He has been retired since 2000.

Now that we are together 24/7 things are different.

First he suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome - PTSD. He was drafted and served in Vietnam in 1968. He was wounded twice and has two purple hearts. He has only told me one story about his time there and it was pretty horrific. Imagine going through things like that day after day.

He has episodes of anger that doctors link to PTSD. It is true because from sitting in VA waiting rooms I hear all kinds of stories. It is just hard for my little brain to connect it.

He can't sleep at night because of the nightmares. When he does wake up sometimes he just starts in with the angry comments.

The Damp Jeans

He was angry because his jeans were not dry. I asked him how long had he dried them. He said he didn't know, he just pushed buttons on the dryer - I told him "Well there you go".

I never do his laundry - too many details to remember - so why blame me for the damp jeans?

Frying Pan

I had just finished eating and the pan was still on the "stove" and he mentioned something about washing it right away so we don't get cockroaches. First we don't have cockroaches and I can wash the pan when I darn well feel like.

I usually just tell him to go back to bed!

He goes to therapy twice a week, but I don't think he will ever be normal.

I've had to go on Celexa because living with him can get a little nerve wracking.

It could also be my own form of PTSD.

I've decided to get angry back at him when he tells me something. I don't know if that is good. He has already said something about my messy room. I'm thinking DUDE, have you seen your closet and that mess of paperwork on your TV tray?

I told him last night "Leave me the hell alone" - in a laughing irritated way - not really mad.

It reminded me of his sister. She says her granddaughters tell her to "Leave me the fxxx alone". I would never use that language, but I know how they feel. But really you should not say things like that when you are 13. You might think it, but you don't say it. That is a whole other story.

I added the picture of our pergola to show some of the things he has built. He spends lots of time outside building fences and mowing the grass. It helps him relax. The pergola is a little crude, but it is nice. We've had good comments on it.

In the background of the picture, you can see the posts of another fence he has started. The brushy area in the back belongs to a neighbor at the other end of the block. We have our own brushy acre that runs partly behind our house and the houses of two other neighbors.

We'll also have to move the solar dryer. They were set in 1964. I told him I want to make sure we save that part of the concrete. In the corner is our little cactus garden.

The grass is yellow because he cut it real short back there. We've been getting so much rain, we cut it short so it won't get too tall before we have the chance to cut it again.